Saturday, November 28

I Had No Idea...

...that my heart could hurt this much....but appparently, it can.

Thursday, November 26

Words Cannot Express...and yet...

Please don't tell them you never got to know me
It is I whose kicks you will always remember,
I who gave you heartburn that a dragon would envy,
I who couldn't seem to tell time and got your days and nights mixed up,
It is I who acknowledged your craving for ice cream by knocking the cold bowl off your belly,
I who went shopping and helped you pick out the perfect teddy bear for me,
I who liked to be cradled in your belly and rocked off to dreamy slumber by the fire,
It is I who never had a doubt about your love,
It is I who was able to put a lifetime of joy into an instant.

~Author Unknown

Listen for my footfall in your heart.
I am not gone but merely walk within you."
~Nicholas Evans, From "The Smoke Jumper," Copyright, 2001

"When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight."
~Kahlil Gibran

Monday, November 23

Flights of Fancy

Can I just say that my little TeaRose is a girl after her Auntie M's heart: she had tremendous fun flying! Can't wait til she's ready to enjoy extensive traveling.
Oh, the places we'll go!!!!
She had even more fun on the way back cuz there were four laps to play on: Mama, Dada, Auntie M, and Gramma! Could life get any better--four cuddle spots!?

And in between she did lots of things:
She walked in the Pacific Ocean for the First Time....

She gleefully swam in Grampa Jim's great big tub....

She toured San Diego....

She got to be with her Cousin Ava!! You've never heard such laughter!!!!

And she went to her cousin's memorial service. She was a little lady who brought joy in the midst of sorrow.

A brief note: the service was heart-wrenching yet beautiful. But those memories & pictures I'm going to keep tucked away in special place for just me.

It is kind of too bad that little Miss TeaRose is so young that she won't remember all this...youth does have its downfalls!

Saturday, November 21

Thank You

Thank you to all of you who have responded so graciously to the deep grief our family has experienced. You may have noticed that the postings I had up earlier have been removed. Your comments will be available to J&D but for now the images & messages are too tender to to leave up for public viewing.
Also, if you viewed my posting on our sweet boy, please do not download, forward, save, or print the pictures there-in. These images are far to precious to his loving parents & they need to be able to hold them close to their hearts.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for your kind words & tender hearts that have been expressed to our family--especially to my brother & sister-in-law. We appreciate your loving care.

Friday, November 13


Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
(Hebrews 11:1)

Sounds simple but is actually oh so hard...especially when we feel that perhaps, this time, God has given us more than we can bear.

Thursday, November 12


Words cannot express the grief my family is

experiencing right now.

Just this evening

our darling sweet little Demetri,

without ever taking a breath here on earth,

has gone silently to be with our Lord.

Please keep my brother and sister (in-law) in your prayers.

Demetri, my love, I don't think you can even begin to imagine how very much you are loved, how greatly you were wanted, and how deeply you will be missed.

Jesus, hold him in your arms & snuggle him for us. Hold him safe until we too~finally~join him. Comfort us as only you can.

Wednesday, November 11

Tuesday, November 10

Autumn Leaves

Autumn is one of my favorite times of year & this autumn has been glorious. The changing of the seasons has been absolutely gloriously dramatic. And so refreshing after the most decided lack of seasons' change in SoCal. Here's a glimpse of what we experienced here...along with the lyrics of one of my all time favorite songs...especially if sung by Eva Cassidy or Patricia Kaas.
The Autumn Leaves
The falling leaves drift by the window
The autumn leaves of red and gold
I see your lips, the summer kisses
The sun-burned hands I used to hold

Since you went away the days grow long
And soon I'll hear old winter's song
But I miss you most of all my darling
When autumn leaves start to fall

C'est une chanson, qui nous ressemble
Toi tu m'aimais et je t'aimais
Nous vivions tous, les deux ensemble
Toi que m'aimais moi qui t'aimais
Mais la vie sépare ceux qui s'aiment
Tout doucement sans faire de bruit
Et la mer efface sur le sable les pas des amants désunis

(French lyrics by Jacques Prévert, English lyrics by Johnny Mercer, Music by Joseph Kosma)
(Photos by Moi, of course!)

Monday, November 9

Thanks Tash!

So while I was with the Posey clan, I got yet another great haircut from Natasha. Not only does it look great straight (which Tash did but I probably won't due to stupid physical issues), but I can go from showered to bouncy curls in just 30 seconds.

Which is great since getting ready in the morning is rather tough right now...
While the move to WA has (overall) been good for my health in relation to the peripheral polyneuropathy (way fewer flare ups), my fibromyalgia has been acting up with the onset of cold weather & rain. It been taking me longer to get up & get going in the morning.
Due to pain & stiffness, it has typically been taking me 1-2 hours to really be able to move after getting up each morning. Today, however, was classic: mom litterally had to pull me out of bed. I think my 12 hour drive through torrential rain on Saturday, kinda screwed me up a bit! I was in so much pain & so stiff I really couldn't get out of bed. Which sucked cuz I had to return the rental car I'd used for my CA trip. (Figures--usually not being able to move wouldn't be such a big deal: I have a very boring life, but the one day I've gotta be somewhere early, I have a completely non-functioning body!)
But at least I look good while immobile, right? Always a bright side! Thanks again, Tash, for doing my rock!

Sunday, November 8


Don't get too excited: he hasn't arrived yet...BUT...

Check out his latest ultra sound pix! He is soooo cute!!!!!!

Ok...neeed a little help? Here you go...all mapped out for you. (Dani says if you picture him wearing sunglasses, it helps...and doesn't everyone like to sit with their feet up by their ears?!)

Here's the this a beautiful profile or what?!?!?!

Yup! It's happened again: I'm head-over-heals in love!
Hurry Up, Demetri!!! I want to snuggle you in my arms!!!!!

Thursday, November 5

Let's Hear it for the Boys!

Let's all give a HUGE shout out to Isaac for fixing my freakin' computer so I can get online again!!!! Amazing guy: while his wife takes me out for a terrific dinner & drinks, he stayed home with the kids AND fixed my computer. Too bad he's taken... ;-)

I'm in Redding, CA where my dear friend Natasha lives~with the afore mentioned husband~and her 2 beautiful boys. I actually drove down from WA thinking that a 12 hour car trip wouldn't be that bad...and overall, it wasn't...except I still have to drive back...(sigh). But so wonderful to be with Tash again & to see how big the boys have gotten since I saw them last.

Jackson is 3 years old now, talking non-stop, and has amazing hearing: he can identify all sorts of different vehicles driving in the near vacinity while he is playing in the back-yard, unable to see them. He also has an afinity for hats, which is nice since my knitting-maniac mom made hats for both the boys!

Sawyer will be 2 years old in a mere 2 weeks & is talking more & more and is into all things "boy." He has an afinity for shoes, but (luckily for him) my mom hasn't figured out how to knit those yet! (Hey mom, you know I love all the things you create for me & others!!!) Funny thing is, for liking shoes so much, he had the best time this afternoon running about the back yard in his socks in the rain! Too funny!

Both boys are totally into tractors (real) and cars & trucks (real or toys)...and really: who wouldn't be. The local Walmart has been awfully accomodating in that it's remodeling & is using lots of tractor-type vehicles. Tash can just drive the boys over there for an afternoon of fun entertainment!

It's been a relaxing trip & I love being with Tash...don't cha just love being with friends where you can pick up where you left off as though you just saw them the day before~even though it's been a year since you've last managed to get together?'s nice to be with good friends and (almost) as nice to be able to get online again!!!! Now I shall have to think about all sorts of creative things to write know, act like I have a life!

Upcoming posts will, of course, include pictures of my beautiful TeaRose who has somehow gone from a baby to a little lady of 8 1/2 months who is crawling everywhere, is close to walking, and has (finally) gotten her first tooth. In all her busy-bee activities, she still likes to cuddle & loves to listen to books....

And sometime within the next couple weeks, I should have the wonderful gift of becoming an aunt again as my brother & sister-in-law's baby is due anytime now. Hurry up Demetri: I can hardly wait to hold you!!!!!!!